Born to Roar — The President's Failed Insemination

where's my child mr president i i didn't give birth to a baby what i lied i was never i wasn't having a baby i was just taking the biggest nastiest dump of my life you faked the pregnancy and my entire white house medical team somehow never noticed maybe it was a tumor you know one of those pseudo pregnancy intestinal stress tumor things pull your

what's that Mr. President, you should probably go. I just took a massive dump and it still reeks in here. So I cancelled a budget hearing and a national security meeting waited three hours just for you to take a dump?

Mr. President, I swear I didn't mean to trick you. We can try again. Insemination, IVF, whatever you want. I'll have your baby. Hm. Dream on. I'm not wasting another drop of my sperm on you.