Pretty Was Never the Plot — Episode 4

you wonder if the world made room for your body today relax if we crash you give me the airbag for the whole bus don't touch me the bus is packed besides shouldn't you be glad i even touched you they think no one wants a fat girl so harassment is supposed to feel like a favor like the less i fit their standards the less right i have to say no i know this isn't my fault but my

body learned fear before my mind did i hunch i look down i zip my jacket all the way up every Every time I protect myself, it feels like I'm admitting my body should be hidden. That's enough. Watch yourself. Stop making it easy for them.

I'm giving them an opening? I'm trying to help you. Do you really have to make this uglier in front of everyone? He used to help me when no one was looking, and I'd be happy about it for Now I get it. It wasn't that he wouldn't protect me. He just didn't want anyone to know he did.

Let go of my bag. Don't be ungrateful. That woke me up. He could humiliate me in public, be nice to me in private, and still expect gratitude. But respect isn't charity he gets to hand out on a

How long are you gonna keep this up? I got the diary back for you. Throw it out. What? That diary was full of me chasing after him, studying to keep up,

staying up past midnight so I could get into the same college. Now every page feels like a joke I wrote about myself. I said throw it out. You included.