Too Late for Sorry — Episode 4

blinking forgetting to breathe before they finally broke apart my chest felt like it was being ripped open Maddie stepped into a quiet corner and looked me dead in the eye Mia don't hate me but needed to see it otherwise you'd never let him go my throat was raw my voice came out cracked yeah i don't hate you i hated myself for thinking that spot next to him was mine just because i'd been

allowed to stand there to lock myself in i opened my laptop right in front of her no right before the deadline i switched my commitment from michigan to that big school in miami maddie i'm coming to miami with you but you have to promise keep it quiet for now maddie was over the moon she'd been begging me to go to the same school for months but freshman year shane and i

I had made a pact. We'd both grind through high school, then head to Michigan together graduation. That's where the football program he'd dreamed about lived. Wolverines. The winged helmet had been Shane's screen taber since middle school. He'd signed his national letter of intent in the school gym in February. Cameras flashing, his parents crying, coach in the background

I'd been there in the third row, clapping until my hands hurt. So even though I hated the cold, and even though the school wasn't really my speed, for three years I'd made it my goal. Now, I couldn't think of a single reason to go to Michigan. He was going north, I'd go south.

Before bed, I filled the tub to the brim. Wanted to scrub myself clean, older. I bruised easily just from him grabbing me in a hug after a win. The memories from last night came rushing back, uninvited.